TT: “You work all week. Then you finally plan a “nothing day” for your day off. When it arrives, you want to make the most of it but then there is a feeling of guilt for not being productive. How do you get over the guilt?”
CL: “In doing nothing, something valuable is still happening. That time is not wasted. Recognizing that is key.”
In 2013, Cynthia Loyst began a new adventure with the popular television talk show The Social. Loyst, already an award winning sex-educator and advice columnist, launched her website Find Your Pleasure (findyourpleasure.com) in 2016. Two years ago she was offered a book deal. For the release of her completed work, herself and co-host from The Social Jessica Allen visited the Grimsby Public Library. We could not be more thrilled to welcome these talented, engaging and well-spoken women to our community.
Through the library gate, guests eagerly scan the room to catch a peek at their waiting books. When the barrier lifts, the crowd funnels toward the volunteers to finally get their copy of Cynthia Loyst’s Find Your Pleasure in hand. There is a range of generations in attendance and all are seeking an answer to their question, “how can I find my pleasure?”
Lisa Teeft, who has been watching The Social since its premiere attends with friend Lori Schnittker. Schnittker says, “This is wonderful, it really shows the variety our library can bring!” Teeft asserts that, “seeing them in person only solidifies [her] commitment to the show and its co-hosts.” Teeft plans to bring her copy along on her vacation, truly satiating her pleasure.
TT: “You have insights in the book that we all dance around—how did you pinpoint those thoughts enough to put them onto paper?”
CL: “I had circling thoughts about writing around inhibitions and shame. In 2013, I had a wake-up call. I decided to write about the flip side of those negative things. I constantly started taking notes of what sparked my interest.”
Pleasure. A word commonly associated with gluttony, low-art, and over-indulgence is broken down to its bones as Cynthia and Jess, with wine afoot, showcase the power of pleasure. As Jess fulfills the audience in asking deep-rooted questions (that many would likely shy away from asking themselves), Cynthia answers with fluidity, not hesitating in the words she whole-heartedly committed to paper. From wedding spoons to beautiful things to simple things, Cynthia reminds her readers to see through the lens of pleasure.
Not only is Find Your Pleasure chock-full of tips and undiscovered pleasures, it is also Cynthia’s naked writing. Struggles with partners, friends and self-love are exposed for all to see. It’s about understanding that no one is alone in the brittle, anxious and stressful times. Cynthia affirms the idea of indulging in yourself and nourishing your pleasures. Embrace the contagious enjoyment of others while they bask in their joys and actively seek out your own bliss; as we get older, we forget to acknowledge the thrill of our imagination.
Speaking of thrill, Jess leads to the topic of Cynthia’s advice column. Cynthia discloses that the most common question she is asked is, “How do I keep the spark alive in my long-term relationship?” At this time, the room clears of low laughs or whispers as each guest perks up their ears at the question. Cynthia simply responds, “It’s not a quick and easy answer,” there is a shallow release of shoulders around the room, “but it’s because I don’t know each person’s pleasure. It brings us to self-love and self-exploration to use as a stepping stone.” With a unanimous nod that ripples across the crowd, including Jess Allen, she announces it is time for her Rapid Fire question round. Without giving away too many details, everyone in the room is instantaneously bonded by laughter and anecdotes as the conversation drifts to the pubic region—Jess’s infectious laugh leading the way.
A big thank you and congratulations to our guest, Cynthia Loyst on the release of her first book, Find Your Pleasure. The evening would not have been complete without the witty banter and encouraging questions from her co-host, Jess Allen. We were overjoyed to have both stay after to sign copies of the book, take photos, and enchant us all.
Door prizes were raffled off at the end of the night which included outstanding donations from our sponsors Cole’s Florists, Objects to Desire, Stacy Heidman of Steeped Tea and Theatre Aquarius. Thank you to all of these contributors along with The Peanut Mill and Wayne Gretzky Estates (who also contributed the wine for the evening) for providing our guest speakers with their lovely gifts. A big thank you as well to all of our generous sponsors and benefactors who made this event possible!
This post was written and the photos were taken by the Grimsby Author Series’ fabulous volunteer blogger, Teanne Teeft. Thanks Teanne!